Ways Father's can Invest in Their Children
One of the primary negative impacts on children is the lack of a consistent, nurturing father or father-figure. One of the primary predictors of future violent behavior in boys is how much neglect they perceive from their father. It's not enough for "dad" to go to work, come home, read the paper, watch ESPN and then go to bed. That's being a roommate not a dad. Children need to perceive active investment from fathers. We've defined a good dad as the man who works consistently, brings home the paycheck, and doesn't openly abuse his children and family. I think it's time to expect more out of fathers. Here's some suggestions. 1) Mentor Humility: Fathers can have a powerful impact on their children if they are willing to actively mentor humility. Showing children it's ok to admit when they are wrong and placing others before one's self are powerful investments. 2) Invest Time: Set aside time for your children on a regular, frequent basis. This time is for the kids. It allows them to bond with dad and each other in a familial, empowering way. This develops family coherence, problem solving development, and can be used to develop ethics and values. 3) Have bedtime with your children: Fathers should set aside bedtime as very specific time to spend with each of the children. This is a time to reflect on the day, a time to establish calm communication with the children. Children require a sense of safety and security. Bedtime can be used to create a quiet atmosphere that encourages your children to share and allows them to see that you are there for them when the world is dark and unsure. Finally, both mom and dad should participate in bedtime. If children can fall asleep feeling safe, and secure they will experience a higher quality of sleep leading to improved, positive behavior. They will trust their parents more, leading to an increase in communication. Fatherhood is no longer about procreation leading to paycheck contribution. It is investment leading to excellence. Fathers need to be as involved or more involved than mothers in the raising of children. Darrin F. Coe, MA is the father of two very active pre-schoolers and a mental health professional Darrin F. Coe, MA 1019 Clover Canon City, CO 81212 719-275-5907 coe@ris.net About the Author Darrin F. Coe holds a master's degree in professional psychology and is the father of two preschool boys. contact at http://dcoe1.tripod.com |
Children Behaviour In A Nutshell...
Resources on Children Behaviour
| Children react more favourably when they are offered cues and
warnings. This helps them to anticipate or prepare for change.
Instead of demanding immediate results, parents and caregivers
should be prepared to give children time to respond. For example: “In five minutes, it will be time to clean up.” Rather than: “Get that cleaned up now.” “When everyone is sitting quietly, then I will begin the story.” Rather than: “If you don’t sit down there won’t be a story.” |